How Do I Teach My Cat to Do Tricks?

October 13th, 2009
Teaching your cat to play piano is indeed as hard as it looks, but if you want to teach your cat simple tricks, its not that hard. Its also beneficial for your cute kitty.

Teaching your cat to play piano is indeed as hard as it looks, but if you want to teach your cat simple tricks, it's not that hard. It's also beneficial for your cute kitty.

Not only is teaching tricks to your cat entertaining for guests and rewarding for yourself - it’s beneficial to little kitty. Believe it or not, a cat that can do tricks - basically, respond to verbal or visual cues - is a little sharper than his or her non-trick cat. Not only that, but teaching tricks to your cat will give it a little structure in life, and thus discourage certain unwanted kitty behaviours.

Cats can do all sorts of tricks. My cousin’s cat, Momo, can do stuff like shake hands (even switch which paw is being shaken!), roll over, beg, and sit up. I’ve even seen people make their cats jump through hoops! Uhh… check your favourite webvid site for some of those goodies.

Usually, you see people using hand gestures to signal to their cat what you want it to do, however, verbal commands are just as good. Needless to say, though, cats won’t pay you any mind if you don’t give out edible treats after the performed trick. Dogs they ain’t.

Let me tell you how Momo is trained by my cousin. Firstly, my cousin doesn’t leave food out for Momo to “free feed,” therefore Momo is probably hungrier than other cats out there. It’s a requirement that your cat be hungry when you train him or her, actually. Thus, my cousin will take some of Momo’s regular food and use it to entice Momo into action. She’ll show Momo what she wants him to do with both a hand gesture and a verbal command and it’ll be done. If Momo is slow or doesn’t respond right away, she’ll rub the treat on his tongue just to let him know the presence of the treat; and Momo then complies right away.

So… how does your cat eventually learn the desired trick? Let’s have an example!

Let’s say you wanted to teach Hello Kitty how to shake hands. First, get out Hello Kitty’s regular dry food (the dry food for free feeding… remember to always give your cat a sufficient diet of wet food!) or a special treat (if you free feed her). Then, you might start out by lifting her paw up (while she’s sitting) and then immediately reward her with the food reward. Do this maybe 10, 20, or 30 times, or until Hello Kitty decides she doesn’t care about the food reward anymore. Do this everyday for maybe 3-5 days. After such time, you should just be able to put your hand out and Hello Kitty will automatically place her paw in your hand! You’ve still got to give her the food reward, however, otherwise she’ll quickly forget why she’s even shaking hands. Now, it’s time to add in the verbal or visual cue (in this case, your open palm is a visual clue… but it’s a good idea to add in something like, “shake hands.”). Only add in your verbal cue once the trick is perfected, otherwise Hello Kitty won’t know what you’re talking about! And, make sure to say the verbal cue before the trick is performed.

The basic tenet is that you must teach your cat in steps. Shaking hands is a very simple action, so there were basically only two steps involved in making it happen. But, if it’s a more complicated trick like rolling over, there will definitely be more steps involved; you’ve got to start off by rewarding kitty for behaviour that approximates what you eventually want. Then, you slowly get her to do tricks closer and closer to what you want, until it is what you want. Again, once it’s what you want, add in the verbal clue. Then, you can move on to teaching her the next trick (but make sure to continue to practice the old tricks occasionally).

A cat of any age can learn new tricks (they ain’t dogs), so don’t be afraid to teach your old cat new tricks. Older cats may just require a slower training schedule.

I’m wondering what tricks your cat can do? Also, how did you teach him or her? Please share with us (videos would be cool)!

How Do I Know if a Cat is Feral or Stray?

September 11th, 2009
Friendly feral cats in Ueno Park, Tokyo, Japan.

Friendly feral cats in Ueno Park, Tokyo, Japan.

We often come across cats on the streets and sometimes, we wonder if they’re feral (born on the streets), or if they’re stray (a lost cat, or someone’s outdoors cat?). There are several ways to determine what type of cat it is, but these rules are not hard and fast. For example, most people would say that if the cat is friendly and approachable, then it’s a stray. However, did you know that cats in Japanese parks are totally approachable - you can even pet them - but they are feral cats. The reason for this seems to be that old Japanese people in the parks pet and feed the feral cats from a young age, and thus although feral, become used to humans.

Without further ado, let’s look at how you can (usually) tell if a cat is a feral or a stray.

Feral cats…

  • … run when a human comes too close for comfort.
  • … rarely, if ever, meow, as meowing is how kittens beg their mothers, and how house cats beg their masters.
  • … know how to survive on the streets, foraging for food or catching rodents and birds.
  • … are generally slimmer in appearance (because of less carbohydrates in their diets).

Stray (Outside) Cats…

  • … are approachable and pettable.
  • … may sometimes have a collar still around their neck. (In the case of a lost stray cat, the collar may be very worn out and the cat may have reverted to a feral state, where it exhibits the behaviors of a feral cat.)
  • … if lost for an extended period, are normally emanciated, because they don’t know how to fend for themselves on the streets.
  • … meow if you offer them a petting or a treat.
  • … are fatter and can find their own way home each day.

Most of the time, it shouldn’t be hard to tell the difference between an outside cat and a feral cat, but it is sometimes difficult to differentiate between a cat that has been lost for a long time, and a normal feral cat. The only sure way to tell if a cat is a lost one or not is to capture it (make sure to use proper methods!) and then to see if it can get used to living indoors again. If within two weeks, the cat doesn’t settle down and get used to humans again (petting, being near humans), it’s probably a feral. Feral cats live their lives happiest outside, and it’s best if you get the cat neutered/spayed and put it back outside where it belongs.

The Evolution of House Cats: Scientific American

June 29th, 2009

The cats we all know and love today were not descended from Egypt, as is commonly thought, but are actually from the Middle-East in what was called ‘The Fertile Crescent’. All house cats share the same DNA as wild cats from the Middle-East, and all house cats descended from the same lineage.

Here’s the article from Scientific American:

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=the-taming-of-the-cat

Adopting a Kitten is More Humane Than Buying

June 18th, 2009
All these adorable kittens are up for adoption! They need a home!

All these adorable kittens are up for adoption! They need a home!

Are you considering filling your life or your family’s life with just a little bit more joy by getting a cat?

Before you do so, read on!

There’s no reason to buy a kitten.

Why? Well, by not buying a kitten, you are helping to stop kitten mills (just like puppy mills), where adult cats are treated like kitten-making machines in the name of profit. The adult cats aren’t given love or affection, and normally, the conditions they live in are horrid. There’s too much to say against buying a kitten, so I’ll just focus on why it’s so great to adopt one.

Firstly, by adopting a kitten (or two), you are giving a chance for an abandoned life to feel love, warmth, caring and affection. The kittens are up for adoption in the first place, precisely because nobody wants them. You are also relieving the pressure on charity organizations that will continue to help other abandoned kittens, once you have adopted yours.

Yes, it’s irresposible for people to not spay/neuter their adult cats, but aside from educating the public, you can help out right now by choosing to adopt rather than buy.

Adopted kittens are exactly the same as store-bought kittens; you can even get exotic breeds, like the Siamese pictured to the left (who is really up for adoption in Toronto: http://abbeycats.org/adopt.php).

In fact, the collage I’ve made here is of kittens that are all currently up for adoption at Abbey Cats in Toronto (follow the link!).

Another advantage in adopting is that abandoned kittens are free, rather than the hundreds that pet stores ask you to pay. You can better spend your saved money on food, bedding and playthings.

You can adopt kittens, or you can adopt a fully-grown cat - it’s up to you. Adopt, don’t buy!

Spidercat Can Do Anything a Spider Can!

May 23rd, 2009
Spidercat, Spidercat, can he do what a spider can? Yes he can, cuz hes Spiiidercat.

Spidercat, Spidercat, can he do what a spider can? Yes he can, 'cuz he's Spiiidercat.

Charlie the cat, a.k.a. Spidercat, climbs the wall of his flat in Denny, Falkirk in Scotland to get back in. Spidercat normally leaves by the front door, but gets back indoors by climbing a wall to her balcony at the rear of the flat. May 17, 2009 (CFP).

Actually… the cat looking at Spidercat from above - Batcat - is using his invisible utility belt to hoist Spidercat up the wall.

Feed Your Cats What They Love

May 22nd, 2009
Are you feeding your cat what it really loves?

Are you feeding your cat what it really loves?

If your person is listening to the advice coming from the cat commanders of the post-Tuna world… then you’re obviously eating the things that you love most!

Contrary to popular belief, however, that thing that we love most is not tuna (although, it is meow-o-licious, and that’s why we’re working hard to resurrect the Tunafish…) - what we love most are rodents and birds! Mmmmeowr!

Just to re-cap… make sure you eat human-produced dry food only for “free feeding.” Not for meals!

But otherwise, as a cat, you should be consuming pretty much 100% meat.

The thing is, however, that humans are lazy and most of them won’t bother preparing a home-cooked mouse or bird for you… so you must settle for the can. I know you love the can - that’s why you run to the sound whenever you hear that familiar clinking!

So, what should your person be giving you? Well, hopefully it’s not 100% tuna-in-a-can, because cats can get addicted to that stuff. They can get so addicted that they start not wanting to eat anything else but tuna. That’s no good! Firstly, tuna doesn’t contain exactly all of the nutrients a cat needs… and secondly, cats don’t naturally seek out tuna. Why are cats associated with tuna? Cats can’t fish! We don’t have opposable thumbs and it was too hard trying to steal from The Three Bears.

Make sure your person gets you canned food that lists beef or chicken as the primary ingredient! This will ensure that your diet matches what your Egyptian ancestors ate, and thus suits your furry little body best. Beef is like small rodents, and chicken is a bird!!!

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being served a rotation of beef, chicken and fish. Moreover, it may be hard for your person to find non-tuna canned food (since evil human corporations find that this is the cheapest source of meat… hmm… maybe it’s the corporations that have hammered the cat-fish relationship into people’s minds?). Yes… humans are evil.

Top 10 Things NOT to Do to Your Cat

April 21st, 2009
This is what youll get if you do bad stuff to your cat.

This is what you'll get if you do bad stuff to your cat.

There are many things that the idiotic human species does to itself, to the Earth, to plants… but watch out if you do it to a cat! We will claw you and eat you like canned food. Kidding, kidding! Please give us our canned food! But, if you really love your cat… you wouldn’t do the following:

10. Putting the cat food right beside the litter box. I mean, c’mon folks! Would you want to eat right beside your toilet? I hope not.

09. Not cleaning out the litter box everyday. When we surveyed peoples about when they flushed the toilet, they said after every use. And what makes you think it’s okay to leave a litter box full of un-aromatic substances around for more than a day?!

08. Giving your cat dry food only. Cats are carnivores, people! Remember in elementary school… carnivores only eat meat - not carbohydrate-filled dry food. Also, cats were originally desert dwellers, meaning they get most of their liquids from the food they eat; thus, they need to eat food with a high water content.

07. Locking your cat up in a cage. Would you like it? Watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0omjqLTZGU

06. Punishing your cat for being a cat. If you constantly call your cat, “bad cat,” for doing stuff like scratching your crappy furniture… you obviously are the “bad person”! You should provide for all your cat’s catly needs. Chris Rock once said approximately this in a stand-up comedy routine regarding Siegfried and Roy, “They said the tiger went crazy when he attacked. He didn’t. He was crazy when he was riding around on a bicycle and sh*t. When he attacked, he was merely going TIGER.”

Well… even though this is a top-ten… the rest will be revealed later (when it is thought of). Feel free to leave comments and add to this list!

How to Make My Cat Use the Toilet.

March 16th, 2009
There are only four easy steps involved!

There are only four easy steps involved!

How do I make my cat use the toilet? How do I get rid of the litter box forever? These are questions that have plagued lazy mankind since the beginning of cat-dominance over humans. At Cat News, we recently decided to release this confidential information to all lazy humans out there, at the behest of Heathcliff, who says, “Usin’ toilets is much more convenient for us cat folk… even if it does give our people-servants less work. It’s like the symbiotic relationship that exists between flies and dog poop. The flies eat the poop, land on your hot dog and make you sick. Wait… that’s not symbiotic. Anyway… I like my porcelain.”

Heathcliff is brave to say this, however, because humans who manufacture kitty litter have threatened his life. Nine different companies have threatened Heathcliff, because obviously, this information will lead to a reduction in the sale of their kitty litter! And do you know what it means if nine different companies assassinate our pal? Yes… all of his lives will be gone. It is okay, however, because Heathcliff is a gangsta’ cat.

Now… on to the instructions that you’ve been waiting for! Getting your cat to use the toilet can be achieved in four simple steps.

1. Place kitty litter box beside toilet so that kitty goes there. Move the box from its current location a few feet a day - you can’t move it to the bathroom right away!

2. Slowly raise the litter box upon books so that it is eventually the same height as the said toilet. Do this slowly and over the course of a week or two, one book at a time.

3. Put the litter box in the toilet, under the seat. Now, your cat will be almost using the toilet. If your litter box does not fit in the toilet, you can use a smaller container, but fill it with the same litter.

4. Once your kitty has gotten used to this arrangement for maybe a month… remove the litter box completely (and make sure it can’t be found elsewhere).

Voila! Your catty-cat will now be using the toilet. Of course, he or she will first try to “dig” the water in the toilet, but then will proceed to take a dump in your porcelain friend. After that, you can flush the toilet and also wipe down your furry friend’s front paws. He or she will also pee in that same toilet, but will probably do no digging.

No need to thank us - we’re just doing our job.

What to Feed My Cat?

March 10th, 2009
What to feed your cat?
What do you feed your cat?

How to eat your kitten is the question on every mother’s mind these days as the financial crisis makes it hard for us to afford real meat… kidding, kidding! We here at Cat News do not endorse the eating of your cute little kitties! Although, yes, putting a kitty in a container from which you normally eat stuff makes it that much more delicious-looking.

In any case, feline friends, please give power of the mouse over to your person/human (whatever you call the non-furry creature that serves you) - we have to tell him or her how to properly take care of a cat’s nutrition! So… are you listening, my furless friend? What to feed your cat is the question:

Many humans tend to serve cats dry food only, thinking that:

1. It’s cheaper.

2. It’s better for stink-breath.

3. It’s more convenient for human.

This is all wrong! In Catopia, dry food does not exist… because that is for dogs and not for cats! Maybe in Dogtopia they have dry food, but not in Catopia.

Okay, so you think dry cat food is cheaper than canned cat food because the disgusting dry food comes in huge bags and is pound-for-pound cheaper than canned food. In that sense, yes, I cannot rub my body upon your leg long enough to convince you otherwise. But, in terms of long-term cat health benefits (and thus, your money in your pocket)… dry food is costlier!

Now, let me explain why canned food is nine lives better than dry food. First, cats are carnivores. In grade nine science class, they teached you that humans are omnivores, mouses are herbivores, and lions are carnivores. What does that mean? It means that lions and cats must eat the meat! MUST! MEOW!!!

Protein is meat, right? Dry food doesn’t contain much protein for its weight - it actually contains more vegetable-based fillers and thus a lot of carbohydrates. Cats’ bodies can’t deal with carbohydrates and so convert the carbos in any food directly into fat. Yes, that’s why Dr. Claw’s cat is so fat - Dr. Claw (Inspector Gadget’s arch-nemesis) probably only gives his poor guy dry food! Now, a cat’s body eats the dry food and detects that there is not enough protein intake and thus makes the cat eat more until protein is sufficient. This means that your cat has gorged on a greater amount of dry food and so many carbs… making the cat fatter and your wallet thinner. If that cat had just eaten canned food… cat would’ve eaten a lesser amount and avoided the carbs (and saved a human some money!).

I cannot emphasize enough that a cat is a carnivore! It needs sufficient amounts of protein, fat and the other stuff associated with eating other animals. Stuff like the miniscule amount of carbohydrates that is needed by a cat are ingested indirectly through the meat.

The other important thing about serving your cat canned food is that only canned (or home made) food contains sufficient amounts of water for a cat! Dry food, obviously, contains much, much, much less water. And don’t think that leaving a bowl of water out for your catty makes up for the tiny amount of water in dry food. The reason being is that all domestic cats trace their ancestry back to Egypt (those were the days…), which is a desert, and cats thus evolved to get the major portion of their water needs from their pray and not directly from a source of water. What that means is that even if you leave a bowl of water out there, your cat won’t drink enough to make up for the missing water in their solid-food diet.

And I bet that you have your eight glasses of water a day! Why is water so important? Well, it prevents things like urinary tract infection and other horrible things that affect all mammals! And don’t bother trying to add water to your catten’s dry food… because that’ll just spawn the bacteria already living on the food bits to grow and cause worse problems! Water should not be added to dry food!

What about the dental benefits of dry food, you ask? Doesn’t dry food brush a cat’s teeth?! Doesn’t dry food prevent the nasty meat from being all over your cat’s tongue and stinkifying the place? No! In fact, don’t let the marketing of pet food companies fool you - aside from the fact that marketers are liars - how can eating, one of the root causes of bad breath, help?! That’s like eating more in order to lose weight! It’s like not exercising in order to stay fit! It may flummox your human mind, but believe us, we cats know. Even the dry food that claims to help bad breath is a lie; watch your cat eat and you’ll notice that there isn’t any chewing action. Let your cat lick you (in a clean place, please!) and you’ll feel the velcro on his or her tongue. A cat eats by using its teeth to rip off pieces of meat, then uses its tongue to scrape off the flesh (no chewing). Thus, dry food may only occassionally get smashed by your cat’s teeth and really have no chance to do any cleaning (i.e. brushing) action.

Lastly, sure, it may be more convenient for you just to leave a plate of dry food out all day and refill it once-in-a-while… but c’mon, how much effort does it take to feed a cat two or three times a day?! I bet you feed yourself many more times than that!

The recommended thing to do is to leave a bowl of dry food out for free feeding (so your cat knows how to control its hunger), and give your cat the recommended amount of cans per day (e.g. 1 small can for under 5 kgs), dispersed between two or three meals.

In sum, feed your cute cat all the canned food (or home made food) he or she needs and you’ll save money, have a super-healthy (and slim) cat, and avoid all the wasted time and pain of vet visits.

Interview with Mittens the Cat

February 27th, 2009

Today, we at Cat News are glad to have the opportunity to interview Mittens, star of the hit movie, Bolt.

CN: “Welcome to our interview room here, Mittens. Glad to have you as a guest! Care for a chunk of Tuna?”

M: “What?! You have TUNA?! TUNA!!! [devours chunk] Wait… this isn’t tuna… this is salmon!”

CN: “Sorry to fool you there, Mittens… we do that to all our honored guests. Hehe…”

M: “If I wasn’t already declawed, I’d do some declawing on your face! Haha… just kidding. That was good salmon anyhow.”

CN: “So let’s get this interview started. In your opinion, who was repsonsible for the depletion and eventual of the tuna population?”

M: “Well, you could blame cats, because we just love tuna and demanded that our people get tuna for us all the time. Or maybe the humans only bought cans of tuna for us, because their companies mostly sold addicting tuna and didn’t offer much other choice. And why would their companies have done this? Well, it’s because tuna was cheaper!!! Cheaper than chicken or pork or beef! So maybe we can’t blame cats - we must blame the people. In fact, the people caught and consumed over 3.5 million tons of tuna in 2000 alone.”

CN: “And how much of that catch can be attributed to cats?”

M: “Actually, I don’t know… but I’m sure most of it is attributed to people! They love tuna just as much as they think we do. You know how they do. Oh… excuse me, I have to go and use the ladies’ litterbox.”

CN: “Sure, it’s on the right, down the hallway. Well, we’ll conclude our interview for today.”

Since Mittens’ interview was interrupted by a sudden litterbox break (probably due to eating something her pigeon slaves brought her), she  has agreed to come back for another interview at a date in the future. Cat News will let you know when that will happen!